"I was healthy my whole life, until I wasn't".

Is anyone else as insanely confused about this statement as I am? Either way, I'm going to go into detail about why I hate it so much. 

I suppose my initial reaction to this is the fact that it just doesn't make any sense, whether logical or illogical. Because how on earth can someone never be sick? 

There's no possible way a person can go from life to death without experiencing some kind of illness, whether it's a mild cold, a tummy bug, an ear infection, anything! Even babies get ill, so the only time it would be ok to say this would be between birth and a baby's first cold. Considering babies can't talk, it would be impossible for them to actually say these words. 

I don't know about anyone reading this, but I've been mildly ill plenty of times, colds, coughs, tummy bugs. I've got the sniffles as I type. 

Unless, it only counts terrifying and serious diseases and illnesses. For example, heart attacks, cancers, necrotising fasciitis, or immune system issues? Which is where I come in. 

If we are going by this logic, then the above statement makes mild sense for me, but I only just barely agree with this. In fact no, I don't agree at all. 

Anyway, I wasn't healthy my whole life, until I wasn't. In fact, I was profoundly unhealthy. I always had a bad stomach, or a runny nose, or a cough. 

I had a god awful ear ache once/ headache, and couldn't bear the idea of going to school, but my mother made me attend anyway. I came home halfway into the day and was taken to the GP, where I'm sure my mum was counting on the fact that he would tell us that I was faking it (Great use of NHS resources there, mum). He told me that I had a bulging ear drum that could have exploded had it been left much longer. Needless to say, I still rub this in my mum's face fifteen years later. 

I've also had broken bones. Just my wrists, but I've done those three times, though I can never remember how many times I've broken each one; I do know, however, how I broke them. 

The first one was when I was quite small, so I don't remember it, but apparently I slipped over some magazines on the bathroom floor, which my father had left there. When I was taken to the hospital I told the A&E people that it was my dad's fault, which could have ended differently. The second I tripped over a friends foot in the school playground, and the third time I was riding bikes with another friend and we both crashed. I refused to go home until I'd had dinner at her's like planned and then when I did go home I had a second dinner there before finally going to A&E the next morning. 

I've almost always been prone to rashes too. I used to get these huge red blotches and was told I looked like I'd been attacked by an octopus. This would come and go, usually paired with swollen lips, and no amount of antihistimes would shift it. I feel now this was probably autoimmune related. 

I had this horrible weeping rash on my stomach and armpit once, in the heat of the summer. I vividly remember wearing cardigans and jumpers all season in an effort to hide it. That took months to go away, and only because I went to the GP several times, was given dozens of different creams, and eventually referred to a dermatologist who didn't have any clue and fetched someone else. This guy walked in, mumbled the words "infected eczema" and left. And damn, he was right. I was prescribed some other creams which I coveted like gold dust and started treatment right away. The eczema was gone within a month. It had taken almost a year for this! Another reason the NHS hemorraghes money; we spend too much time being pushed around at the GP surgery before getting any results. If I'd just gone to dermatology months earlier, I wouldn't have wasted everybody's time and money at the GP. 

I then started getting other rashes a few years ago, similar to the octopus rings and these went away with a course of steroids, thus suppressing the old immune system. 

I've always been a big visitor at the NHS, whether that's the GP or A&E. I'm very confident with how the system works. This isn't necessarily a good thing. Not unusually for me, I visited my doctor once and when he came out he looked at me and nodded. At first, I thought he was just saying hello, but then I realised he was calling me in. He then agreed with me when I said that the nod was not a good thing. In fact, it's probably a bad thing to be such a frequent visitor. 

They should do loyalty cards. Or at the very least give me free prescriptions. As it is now, my dad very generously pre prays for mine, and I get them at a fixed rate per year. Considering the amount of prescriptions I get this is worth it, but I feel like, perhaps rather selfishly, I should be given more. I mean, there are people out there who are given free council houses and here I am with no government help. And I mean none. Sure, I get the free NHS hospital stays, which everyone is, and should be, entitled to, but I don't get by extra help. I'm lucky to have such generous parents. 

Recently, I came away from Hammersmith hospital with at least 15 boxes. 6 of these boxes are called voriconazole, and contain 28 tablets per box. I get through two boxes a month and each box costs the NHS £769.00! 

I believe at £8.60 per item, all 15 items could have cost me £129.00 but thankfully I have the prepayment certificate. This doesn't include 11 boxes of new injections I'm due to start... 

My life consists, at the moment, of my weekly immunoglobulin infusions, a cocktail of pills morning and night and now a new injection. This injection, romiplostim, is to replace a tablet I'm on called eltrombopag. This is designed to boost my platelet numbers, which are still low since January, but hasn't been working. The romiplostim injection is basically the same thing, but more concentrated and will, ideally, work quicker and better. 

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I've been lacking in inspiration. There's not been much improvement in my health lately, but neither has my health deteriorated, so that's a bonus. 

I'm being kept a close eye on, and fingers crossed there'll be some improvement, otherwise other, more major, options might come into play... 

Thanks for reading, 

Rachel.